'Pebbling' Is The Online Habit You're Probably Doing Every Day

The latest friendship buzzword comes from an unlikely but rather cute source: penguins.

“Recently I learned that the act of sending your friends [and] family little videos and tweets and memes you find online [is] called pebbling, like how penguins bring pebbles back to their little penguin loved ones,” an X user wrote on the social media platform late last month.

The penguins may have the right idea: As we age, friendships become increasingly difficult to maintain. New responsibilities crop up ― babies, more demanding roles at work ― pushing friendships to the wayside. Other times, one friend moves to a different state, physically testing the bonds of friendship. (If you live in a traffic-heavy place like Los Angeles, even a move to a different neighborhood can result in dwindling get-togethers.)

As we’ve written before, when you haven’t seen each other for a while and don’t have the emotional bandwidth to engage in a full-on conversation, sending a meme or a funny video ― pebbling, as it’s now being called ― is a great way to maintain a friendship.

“It’s a way of saying, I see you, I know who you are, I know what you value,” said Marisa Franco, a psychologist and author of “Platonic: How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make ― and Keep ― Friends.”

As Franco explained, sending a meme about something you both love (a clip from “Succession,” for instance) or some shared experience (a jokey tweet or how much you both hate hiking) helps affirm the homophily that already exists between you.

Homophily is a concept in sociology that literally means “love of sameness.” It’s a term used to describe the tendency of people to associate and bond with others who are similar to them, so you can think of it as a five-dollar