My Mom Was Killed Crossing The Street. Years Later, Here's What I Still Struggle To Accept.

According to recent findings from the Governors Highway Safety Association , U.S. pedestrian deaths rose 77% between 2010 and 2021, and the number of pedestrian fatalities in 2022 was the highest in the past 41 years. Factors contributing to these rising numbers are thought to include an uptick in risky driving behaviors, as well as a lack of sidewalks and good lighting. The increases are largely driven by nighttime fatalities .

In October 2011, my mom was hit by a car in a crosswalk in the middle of a beautiful, clear morning in Washington, D.C. She had the right of way. There were no visibility issues. It was the day before her 65th birthday. She and my stepfather had tickets to attend a play that night, but instead, she died in an ambulance on the way to the hospital.

To say her death was a shock is an understatement. Our family had spent the prior weekend together in the Laurel Highlands of Pennsylvania, celebrating my mom’s upcoming birthday. It rained. We went bowling. My young sons jumped on my mom and stepfather’s hotel bed. We laughed watching my sister’s baby wiggle-dance in her highchair, delighted with her tiny bites of cheeseburger and melon.

The day my mom died, the strangest little thought went through my head on the walk to my job at the University of Pittsburgh: our family, mostly, had been spared from tragedy. I was momentarily swept off balance — tempting fate — but two seconds later easily tilted upright. It was a perfect fall day — crisp, with the Pittsburgh air unusually clean. I carried an Indian potato salad to share at a work potluck. Six hours later, I was in the car with my husband and sons, heading to Washington and making stunned phone calls to relatives and friends.

The driver hadn’t