I Was 'Supermom.' When I Suddenly Became Disabled, I Expected Empathy — Not This.

This Mother’s Day, I’ll be hugging my sons a little tighter. Our family’s path has been unexpected and unordinary, from me being at the top of my career to becoming a disabled mother. Our bonds are strong, but we are constantly reminded of how society underestimates parents like me.

After five devastating miscarriages, I finally became a mom to two healthy boys, now ages 15 and 17. When they were young, our world was upended. I was diagnosed with Arnold-Chiari malformation, a traumatic brain abnormality ending with spinal cord damage that abruptly and permanently caused me to rely on a wheelchair and a caregiver for daily tasks.

After my disability created severe impairments and limitations, the unthinkable happened: People questioned if I could properly care for my children. In my darkest moments, school officials who used to applaud my parenting now wondered if I was up for the task. They told me that if I wasn’t capable of parenting, I would need to seek help from organizations that I knew might attempt to terminate my parental rights. As I relearned basic functions, I also had to grapple with the chilling fear of losing my sons.

Unfortunately, my story is not unique. Starting a family is regarded as a basic human right, but parents with disabilities experience discrimination that has real-world consequences.

Parents with disabilities, especially intellectual or developmental disabilities, face shockingly high referral rates to child protective services. Even worse, up to 80% of parents with IDDs will lose custody of their child, often for perceived inadequacies rather than evidence of neglect or abuse. No mother should have to prove that her child belongs with her, but this degrading demand is frequently placed on