Do The People In Your Life Tend To Disappoint You? You Need This Viral Hack.

Over the last few months, the “let them theory” has been all over the internet. It all started over the summer, when Mel Robbins, a popular motivational speaker, went on Instagram and shared an idea she said she’d just heard about and “frigging loved.”

In the video, which now has over 33.5 million views and 1.4 million “likes,” Robbins outlines what “let them” means by way of examples.

“If your friends are not inviting you out to brunch this weekend, let them,” Robbins says matter of factly. “If the person that you’re really attracted to is not interested in a commitment, let them. If your kids don’t want to get up and go to that thing with you this weekend, let them.”

As Robbins sees it, too much time and energy is wasted on forcing other people to match our expectations. Just “letting them” is a better response, especially in our romantic lives and friendship.

“The truth is, if somebody… is not showing up how you need them to show up, do not try to force them to change,” she says in the clip. “Let them be themselves because they are revealing who they are to you. Just let them. Then, you get to choose what you do next.”

It seems like a simple enough idea: When you let your concerns about how others feel about you fall to the wayside, you’ll experience a lot more control and calm in your life.

It’s a little bit “que sera, sera,” a little bit “meet them where they’re at.” Still, as many in Robbins’ comments noted, it may not be all that easy to enact in your life. As one commenter wrote, “I have a feeling if I would ‘let them’ all, I would simply be all alone because many people depend on [my] effort and showing up for everything.”

Therapists we spoke to think the motto really could be game changing for many, though