Stormy Daniels, Donald Trump and the lurid details that will haunt me forever

I’m guessing we all have a favourite moment in the sexual encounterthat took place, allegedly, between Stormy Daniels and Donald Trump.

You, for example, may be unable to erase the mental image of the past (and future?) president reclining on the bed in his bath robe, as if he was some unbelievably attractive guy, irresistible and God’s gift to womankind. Or, maybe it’s the detail about his membrum virile?

Daniels gave a rathervivid description of his “unusual penis”, which she has previously described as being “like a toadstool” and “like the mushroom character in Mario Kart” – adding, perhaps most scathingly: “It may have been the least impressive sex I’d ever had, but clearly, he didn’t share that opinion.”

The details are now being rehearsed again, probably needlessly, at a trial concerning the source and application of the funds used to pay her “hush money” to keep schtum about their “relationship”, which, so far as can be seen, is an established fact.

As cross-examination began, Daniels was confronted about whether she “hates” Trump and wants to see him in jail – but she replied she just wants to see him held accountable.

The brevity of the couple’s lovemaking – and its unsatisfactory nature for his partner – is a constant feature in the accounts Daniels gives. That consistency (albeit unusually colourfully expressed) may be seen to add some credibility to her tale. In a sense, you couldn’t possibly make up the image of Trump being spanked with a copy of a magazine, possibly Forbes (something which the Forbes team deny – but then most of us would, if the situation called for it). It may well have been a copy of his own Trump Magazine, featuring the great tycoon on the cover.

Say what you like about American