My Dad Hid His Cancer From Me For Years. His Secret Changed Our Relationship In Ways I Never Imagined.

My parents were visiting last spring when an argument broke out. Since our family does not shy away from debate, that wasn’t surprising. But when my father yelled, “You know I’m a cancer survivor!” during this particular fight, I was taken aback for two reasons: My father doesn’t usually yell, and that was the first time I had ever heard him say he had cancer.

My parents have always been secretive about deaths and illnesses. In high school, I found out about a death in the family only because I happened to pick up the phone and overhear a conversation. My parents tried to preserve my innocence, but instead of feeling protected, I felt like something was always being hidden from me.

When I, a nearly 31-year-old adult, realized that my father had been keeping a gigantic — and serious — secret from me for years, I immediately felt like a child again.

After we calmed down, my father explained that he had missed a routine screening three years ago during the height of the COVID-19 pandemic and that when he was able to get the test, the results revealed he had cancer. The treatment consisted of surgery to eliminate the cancerous cells, which initially seemed to remove everything. But a year later, the doctor found the cancer had returned, and my father endured radiation and hormone therapy for a few months. Just over two years after his initial diagnosis, the doctor declared that he was “no evidence of disease,” or NED — there were no signs of cancer remaining in his body.

Nearly two years passed between when my father learned that he was in complete remission and when I discovered that he had been sick. Because his diagnosis and treatment took place during the pandemic, he was able to hide his doctor visits and the side