Married Men Are Revealing The 'Hardest Parts' Of Marriage That No One Talks About

We recently asked married men of the BuzzFeed Community to tell us the hardest parts of marriage that no one talks about. Here’s what they had to say:

1. “Twenty-five years married here. The person you marry is going to change in each season of life, and you have to abandon your own selfishness and put in an effort to fall in love with them anew each time...and to help them find new ways to fall in love with you as you change, too. It’s super hard because you’re going to miss the person they used to be (before kids, before menopause, etc.), but if you put in the work and keep an open mind, you’ll probably like the new them a lot, too.”

—axj66

2. “Remember the wonderful times because they’re precious if you lose your spouse. But truth? Marriage is flat-out determined work every day; you must keep at it and not give up, only thinking about yourself. I loved my wife; some days, I’m sure she wanted to kill me, but she still loved me — only married people will understand that. But to make it work for us for the 38 years we were together, it was truly day-by-day solid effort every day.”

—quizzycat72

3. “The hardest thing for me has been lack of time for myself. I’m an introvert and need time to regroup and reenergize after spending the work day around people. As we’ve had kids, that free time has become less and less, as we have to run to sports practices, deal with school, go to things for my wife’s job, etc.”

“Every once in a while, I’ll get to travel for work, which turns into a much-needed time of decompression. I find moments for myself when I’m home, but they aren’t much. As a dad and husband, I try to be as present as possible around my family, even if it further drains me.”

—robert_dunder

4. “Twenty-one years married.