It's 2024, And Hip-Hop Still Has A Toxic Masculinity Problem

During a show at his own Dreamville festival in North Carolina this month, J. Cole did the unthinkable: He apologized for participating in a rap beef.

It was the latest leg of the most interesting thing to happen to hip-hop all year: Kendrick Lamar came from out of nowhere talking slick in his guest verse on Future and Metro Boomin’s “Like This,” insisting that he’s the only one who matters of the alleged “Big 3” rappers of their generation ― the other two being Drake and Cole.

Cole responded two weeks later on “7 Minute Drill” from his surprise mixtape, “Might Delete Later,” with several bars criticizing the Compton rapper’s highly lauded album catalog. As is the case with any good hip-hop feud, folks spent the weekend assessing the bars and staking their sides.

But then Cole threw everyone the hell off with on-stage mea culpas, claiming that his heart was never truly in the battle and that he feels terrible about the whole thing.

“And I pray that y’all forgive a n***a for the misstep and I can get back to my true path,” he said. ”’Cause I ain’t gonna lie to y’all, the past two days felt terrible.”

It was at once the worst thing to happen in hip-hop and… the most grown-up thing I’ve ever seen happen in hip-hop.

Genre fans are justifiably disappointed to see a beef between two bona fide lyricists fold like this, but I take issue with one of the most popular male rappers of a generation who’s being expressive and open about his feelings being considered “soft,” mainly because homophobia and perceived “softness” are often bedfellows in hip-hop, and the homophobia has been loud of late thanks to the House That Sean “Diddy” Combs (Allegedly) Built .

Though the manifold allegations against Diddy are serious and should