I've Helped Dozens Of People Get Married. These Are The 10 Steps To Finding 'The One.'

After being serially dumped for two decades, I felt defeated. But when I was set up with Charlie, my now-husband at 35, I unexpectedly morphed into a hopeless romantic and began helping others find love.

As an amateur matchmaker who was on a reality TV dating show and has fixed up 30 marriages, I’ve seen how difficult it can be to find the right person, especially on the dating apps. But your search doesn’t have to be a nightmare.

Here are 10 road-tested tips for finding love offline that actually work:

Fix Yourself First

If you don’t like your life, someone else won’t mend it. You’ll pick a better mate when you can be a better mate.

“When you’re emotionally messy and confused, your love life will reflect the mess and chaos,” Patty Gross, a licensed social worker (LSW) told me. She insisted that improving my psyche, home, job, finances, style or education upped my odds of finding a stronger partnership.

A 2023 survey revealed that 28% of couples met in an educational setting ― taking one class, seminar, or joining a professional group can be transformative. Three duets even met in my supportive writing workshop.

“Practicing self-care is essential to looking and feeling better and loving yourself,” Diana Kirchner, a Florida psychologist and “Love in 90 Days” author, told me. “Happy, healthy people have better relationships.”

Don’t Postpone Passion

After I complained my boyfriend wasn’t making me happy, my therapist said, “Love doesn’t make you happy. Make yourself happy. Then you’ll find love.” Indeed, when I landed a nicer apartment and an exciting job as a book critic, I met my husband ― a big reader and fan of my column.

My friend Randy originally sparked with her husband after traveling solo to Poland to find