I Never Thought I'd Need To Give My 9-Year-Old Medical Cannabis. Here's How We Got Here.

Do you know any 9-year-olds on cannabis? I didn’t either, until recently. It wasn’t something I ever expected, just like much of my current life.

When my daughter was less than a year old, I sat on a hard plastic chair at our local children’s hospital as the doctor told my husband, Cedar, and I that she had a rare genetic deletion — so rare it had no name. Our beautiful girl was missing DNA — unfortunately, a lot of it.

Under the harsh fluorescent lights, the geneticist explained that our child’s future was largely unknown. There were too few people with her condition to know how the genetic difference would affect her, but it would likely have a significant impact. Reality began to seem more like a dream as the doctor revealed that our child might not walk, talk or eat by mouth and could experience any number of medical issues, including a major heart problem or progressive hearing loss, along with moderate to severe developmental delays and behavioral challenges.

Soon after, our daughter endured multiple digestive problems, which required corrective intestinal surgery and a feeding tube. She could not eat orally and suffered profuse vomiting and chronic pneumonia. Nothing we tried seemed to help. No matter how many specialists and clinics we visited, we were unable to keep her well. Despite countless medical interventions, hospitalizations and procedures, her weight was abysmally low. This child, whom I loved wildly, was at risk for death.

Witnessing my beautiful, bright-eyed daughter suffer was, and still is, the most excruciating thing I have faced. I stumbled through various permutations of grief: a lot of crying alone in the car, self-blaming and comparing myself to other mothers — the kind of mothers I thought