I'm An Introvert Who Spent Years Trying To Make Friends. With 1 Change, I Suddenly Had Dozens.

I consider myself an introvert. Attending a networking event at a restaurant to make small talk with strangers in hopes of making lasting connections is one of the most frightening things that I can imagine doing.

But for years, I did exactly that: I tried rubbing elbows with other public affairs professionals at stuffy bars that marketing pros had transformed into glamorous venues.

When I went to these events, or ones hosted by my college’s alumni office, I usually hovered near the hors d’oeuvre table, mostly because I was uncertain about how to approach others.

My failure at connecting wasn’t due to a lack of trying. I spent my 20′s and 30′s collecting and studying books on how to network, forge friendships and build character.

Yet, my principal achievement from reading these books was that I became adept at identifying when other people had read these same books. Meanwhile, my networking skills didn’t significantly improve. Even worse, I felt that by reading books with titles like “How to Talk to Anyone,” I was turning myself into a robot that spewed out inauthentic lines to people who I genuinely wanted to know.

There had to be a better way to build relationships.

Carol Blymire, my instructor in personal branding at Georgetown University, showed me that there was.

According to her, the best way to build your network while also making friends is to join groups that focus on your hobbies. So, if you like to go swing dancing, you should join a swing dancing group. If crocheting is your thing, you should find a crochet group.

“I give you permission to never go to a boring networking event again,” Blymire told me.

This was just before COVID arrived, so I didn’t have much chance to put Blymire’s ideas in play