I Hit the Jackpot With The Tradwife Lifestyle Until it All Came Crashing Down

Search the term “tradwife” on TikTok and you’ll find thousands of carefully curated videos from creators like 26-year-old Estee Williams from Richmond, Virginia, and Hannah Neeleman, also known as Ballerina Farm , who has amassed 7 million followers sharing cooking and homemaking videos from her Utah farmhouse. The videos feature a soft life aesthetic: modern women clad in ’50s housewife aprons, baking bread and arranging flowers in full makeup and perfectly styled hair.

The content isappealing. Williams’ TikTok has 1.3 million likes across her videos touting the benefits of relying on a partner to take care of you. In that regard, I was also a tradwife throughout my 12-year marriage.

The Tradwife Life Is A Slippery Slope

Throughout my first marriage — in our early 20s — my husband and I muddled through, three young children in tow, making the best life we could. We eventually divorced, I became a single mom, and a bit more muddling ensued. I was always one step behind, stressed out, overworked and underemployed.

Then I remarried.

When I became pregnant with my youngest — with older kids in public school — my “advanced maternal age” and medical history made the pregnancy high risk. We agreed that I should quit my job. So I did, and immediately began nesting.

I began creating the white picket fence life I thought I wanted. We even started homeschooling. If I was going to be home all day anyway, why not? I became a master of pinning craft ideas on Pinterest, meal planning and decorating my home.

In 2019, I started working from home here and there, taking on ghostwriting and freelance work, but none of that money truly contributed to the household. I let my husband take care of everything related to running the home.