I Didn't Know If I Was Ready For Kids. Then I Became A Single Foster Dad At 27.

I always knew I wanted kids ― but I never imagined that at 28, I would end up adopting my foster son one week before Father’s Day.

The path to this decision started three years earlier when, at age 25, my marriage fell apart. (I met my husband at 20 and we got married at 23; I’ve always been the all-in type.) But in the aftermath of our divorce, the clarity I’d felt about my life and my future, including how or when I’d become a parent, was lost.

My mom and aunt both went through the foster system, and from their stories, I knew how impactful foster parents can be, for better and worse, no matter how short or long the placement. I majored in early childhood development, and I spent two years at a nonprofit dedicated to stopping child abuse and neglect by providing temporary care for children and families in crisis. I stepped away from that very stressful role halfway through the pandemic, but then quickly missed having kids in my life. The truth was, I wanted to keep making a difference.

Foster parenting seemed like the perfect choice. With my education and work experience, plus my love of kids, I had the background, skills and mindset to be useful, even if I wasn’t quite ready for permanent parenthood.

I took the plunge and filled out the foster care application on my phone late one night, in the middle of a bitter Minnesota winter. Over the next few months, I worked my way through all the paperwork and trainings.

Being young, single and gay, my choice to actively pursue parenthood (even if only temporary parenthood) made me an outlier in my friend group. Many of my friends are, if not actively eschewing parenthood, at least neutral or ambivalent about children. Some were pretty skeptical of my plan to foster,