Donald, abortion, Barron and more: All the best revelations from Melania Trump’s new book

The teasers for the memoir were sleek, enigmatic and reflective of the image held world-over of Melania Trump herself – a woman oft photographed but always inscrutable at the side of America’s most controversial man.

She acknowledges as much in the author’s note preceding the eponymous Melania, dangling the promise of a glimpse into her mind and everyday reality, writing that she hopes “to show you the woman behind the public persona, to illuminate the values and experiences that have shaped me, and to offer insights into the complexities of life in the public eye.

“As a private person who has often been the subject of public scrutiny and misrepresentation, I feel a responsibility to set the record straight and to provide the actual account of my experiences,” she continues.

What follows, however, is a direct contradiction of the writer’s golden rule of “Show, don’t tell.” Melania reveals herself to be a fan of simple declarative sentences and trios of adjectives, but there are no illuminating anecdotes. The memoir does not mention a single friend by name; there are only two fleeting mentions of friends at all. Even when describing what she holds most dear – her late mother, for example, or her love for the troops and America – Melania simply quotes the full text of speeches she’s given in the past.

It’s weird, frankly. And it’s disappointing – because it’s clear there is more depth to the former First Lady. Her love of motherhood and children is evident. She seems to have a keen eye for design, education in architecture and commitment to historic preservation. But the memoir reads like a stilted chronological recounting of selected events with a smattering of out-of-left-field statements about her politics and marriage