Christina Applegate Opens Up About 'Fatalistic' Depression: 'I Don't Enjoy Living'

Christina Applegate, who has openly discussed her diagnosis of multiple sclerosis before, is now detailing the deep depression she’s experiencing as she navigates the disease’s symptoms.

“I am in a depression right now, which I don’t think I’ve felt for years,” the “Dead to Me” star told her “MeSsy” podcast co-host Jamie-Lynn Sigler on Tuesday’s episode. “Like, a real ‘fuck it all’ depression… where it’s kind of scaring me too, a little bit, because it feels really fatalistic.”

“It feels really ‘end of it,’” Applegate continued. “I don’t mean that, I just mean I’m trapped in this darkness right now that I haven’t felt in, like, I don’t even know how long, probably 20-something years.”

In the conversation, which was recorded earlier this year, Applegate confirmed having called a therapist to discuss those feelings. She noted that even making an appointment, however, was a “big thing” for her.

“I have avoided therapy since I’ve been diagnosed because I’m so afraid to start crying and that I’m not going to be able to end crying,” the 52-year-old told Sigler. “And so my way of doing things is to make fun of myself … [like] at that stage [at the Emmys in January].”

Applegate immediately resorted to self-deprecation while presenting an award at the ceremony, after walking onstage with a cane to a standing ovation. The actor, who recently wondered if virtue-signaling was at play that night, told Sigler the event left her exhausted.

“That was, like, the hardest day of my life,” said Applegate. “You know, it started at 11 o’clock in the morning and didn’t get home till 9:30. And oh, my God, I think I slept for two days straight after that. Like, I couldn’t, couldn’t even function.”

Multiple sclerosis is a neurological disease