‘Boysober’ And Celibate By Choice: Why These Women Are Swearing Off Sex

Yeah, sex is cool, but have you tried abstinence as a form of self-care?

For some women, their experiences with dating apps and the men on them have been so bad that they’re trying short-term celibacy ― or, as some call it, going “boysober.”

Experts have been observing a “sex recession” for years; research shows that millennials and Gen Zers are having less sex, with fewer partners, than their parents’ and grandparents’ generations did. For a growing number of straight single women, disenchantment with hookup culture is a prime reason for taking an extended break from sex and men.

“So many men treat women as sexual objects, and I’m really tired of men trying to sleep with me for merely the challenge,” said Sophie, a 31-year-old who has been abstinent for a year and a half. (Like a few women in this article, Sophie asked to use her first name only to protect her privacy.)

“Dating apps have ruined dating,” Sophie told HuffPost. “The intention to form real genuine relationships is gone, and hookups are the new normal expectations from men.”

In lieu of sex and weeknights squandered on disappointing dinner dates, Sophie is using her free time to knock out some personal goals. It gives her a sense of agency where dating apps felt like a losing game. And frankly, she said, she enjoys her peace of mind now that she’s not centering men in her life.

“This year and a half has only reinforced me wanting to be single and celibate,” she said.

If you need proof that the celibate and anti-dating app movements are growing, look no further than the vocal reaction many women had this week to dating app Bumble’s celibacy-shaming ad campaign.

“You know full well a vow of celibacy is not the answer,” one billboard the dating app put up in