4 Things That Are Not Your Responsibility — Even If Your Anxiety Says They Are

Between work stress, family issues and just the reality of being human, it’s easy to feel the pressure of the world on your shoulders.

While certain stressors in life are inevitable, others don’t need to be. Unfortunately, it can be hard to separate these things out, especially when anxious thoughts tell you that situations or reactions are your fault when actually they’re not.

For example, I personally am often focused on making other people happy ― even if that means totally diminishing my own needs. If someone’s sad and I fail to cheer them up, I tell myself I should have done more or should have led them to a better decision to begin with. How’s that for unfair and unnecessary pressure?

If you’ve ever felt responsible for disappointing someone or felt at fault for someone’s poor decision-making, you’ll want to read on. Below, therapists share what’s actually not our responsibility — even when we feel like (or have been told) it is.

1. Other people’s happiness, sadness and other emotions

You are not responsible for anyone else’s feelings or emotions.

“Each person’s responsible for their own emotional responses, and it’s important to remember that we can’t control or dictate what others feel,” said Carrie Howard, a licensed clinical social worker and anxiety coach.

Our behaviors and actions can influence how someone feels, but their emotional response is their responsibility. For example, if a friend asks for a favor and you say no to their request, they may be understandably disappointed, but that disappointment is not your responsibility to manage.

“It’s not my job to say yes to help them avoid the disappointment they might feel as a result of me saying no,” Howard added.

This idea often results in pushback from